following my feet

I came home from work and I had the urge to take a walk. It was a bit misty out. Mother Nature was mocking me, teasing me with rain and then changing her mind. I threw on my jogging capri, tank top and hoodie, my favorite Brooks and darted out with my house music blasting through my Ipod.

I pulled my hood over my head and walked, staring out in front of me at nothing. I was completely autonomous. I wasn't even conscious of my movements. I was just in auto-drive while my mind wandered. I can't even recall what was going through my head.

.

I remember watching my feet, left right - left right as if I was seeing them through a screen. I didn't feel the chill or the moisture on my face. I remember sweating and shivering but not feeling it. 

I got home, took a shower and fell asleep. I woke up an hour ago and it was a lil past 11. I completely lost tract of time and of myself today. I don't even know what time it was that I went for that walk or for how long. I have just lost a day and it somehow feels calming. I'm a bit disoriented now that I woke up in the middle of the night but I am relaxed. Relaxed because for the first time in a while I didn't think of anything. No hurt, no worries, not anxiousness about what the eff was going on with my life or my usual existential freak outs. No pitying myself, no physical self consciousness and no self doubt. I was in my 'Wooosahhh' trance.