About ten years of my life was spent making someone else happy. I think that that's one flaw all woman have. We sacrifice for the ones we love and our own self comes last, if at all. I had sacrifice my own happiness to make him happy. Sacrifice friends to make time for him alone. Relocated to be with him. I was the 'good wife' in every way and I was punished for that.
Maybe he and I met too young. We were 18/19. What did we know? We haven't lived yet. He always broke my heart but I always took him back because he said that I was the best person for him but he was probably the worst man for me. Poison. In the end he broke my heart the worst of all the years. That was my last straw. He now says he'll wait but enough is enough. I am no longer interested. I am healing and I am happy being in love with myself.
I call it 'nightmares' when I'd have reoccurring dreams of the break up. The emotions of that day was there. I'd wake up crusted eyed. I don't think of it in my waking hours but why do I dream about it?
The last time we spoke he apologized, again, for what he did. He said that he was paying for all the bad karma he had cause in hurting me all those years. He is miserable now, hates his job and is looking for another and to move again. I, somehow, feel bad because I don't wish pain on anyone. It was what it was and I don't want to see anyone miserable. Even though he deserves it I still want him to be happy.
No comments:
Post a Comment